CharCharChar

This post is for the August 2021 Carnival of Aces: Second Change at Any Past Topic .  I recently discovered the 10 minute drabble. A challenge to write a scene or microfiction of exactly 100 words in 10 minutes.  What better prompts for my team of ace and aro superheros than the first year of Carnival of Aces prompts? How amazing is it that Carnival of Aces has been going for a decade?!  Coming Out - May 2011 “Are you interested in our team?” asks a latina with lightning bolts dotted across her cape, the design clownish and out-dated. “Um,” I say. I look up at the “Ace and Aro Heroes” banner. I had only meant to wander the booths to appear interested in various teams. It seems my subconscious had another plan.  “How ‘out’ would I have to be, hypothetically.” “Well, if you join the team people would know. Do you not want that?” “I’m focused on the saving people part. I’m worried having to defend myself from all the ‘that’s not real’ would trip me up.”   Comm...

The March 2021 Carnival of Aces is dreams .  I love daydreaming even more than I love talking about writing. And you're right, this set up is not conducive to completing stories. But for now I'm enjoying the ride.  How characters connect with eachother in my daydreams varies. I've tapped into a dozen attraction types (yes there are a dozen or more), woven in boundary and expectation discussions, visualized hug positions and slow escalation of intimacy and breaking away and coming back together.  The bit that trips me up is - what do I want for myself? Do I want a person to sleep next to in bed? To lean against on the couch? To confide my emotional pain in? To split the chores with? To ask "how was your day"? To inform for the hundredth time how adorable my cat is? To take with me to family gatherings? I don't know.  Enjoying a daydream is a very shaky error-ridden blueprint for what would be enjoyed in reality.  In these quarantine times, I can't go out ...

Carnival of Aces: February 2021 When I saw the prompt “comparing ace spaces,” I winced. There’s an issue I’ve been wanting to discuss (and this is the perfect prompt for it), but I'm worried saying anything will invite drama. I’m not a fan of drama. So, I will refrain from giving specifics about incidents and spaces, and I ask you, dear reader, to not comment your guesses. The issue is – I feel some ace spaces are toxic. And I don't mean toxic for everyone. Some spaces can be unhealthy, unwelcoming, or uncomfortable for certain people or certain identities to be in.  I’m not here to call out specific spaces. I shared with friends why I was anxious to write this blog post. The recurring response was that this was an important topic that needs to be written about. (This did not reduce my anxiety 😑 ) As a self-compromise, I thought I would broadly list issues that I have experienced or that others have told me about. minimized or ignored discrimination/bias: racism, ableis...

Disclaimer: theories of marginalization and privilege.  The November Carnival of Aces prompt is Invisible Activism . My interpretation of this prompt is a smidge roundabout, so hold on to something. A key part of activism is understanding the needs and concerns of everyone in the community you advocate for, including those whose experiences and intersections are invisible (or low visibility).  Spectrum of Visibility Identities and experiences exist on a spectrum of visibility. Their noticeability may shift over time and can be affected by your choice to disclose, how you express yourself, where you are, who you spend time with, and more.  I choose to speak frequently about asexuality, which increases the visibility of this identity.  The low visibility of my gender is a choice I make and could change in the future. My health conditions are classified as "invisible illnesses," however their visibilities fluctuate. They become more noticeable as a symptoms flare up ...

Timely Questions Will you participate in or support Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (ASAW) in February? How? What can you do with this time to prepare? Who can you collaborate with? Who can you follow or promote? Do you have a goal for 2021 related to being an ally? A group project? A resource? An area to learn more about? What are future opportunities you have to be an ally?  What is an ally mistake you have made in the past? Why was it a problem? What did you do to make amends? What can you do going forward? Ally Questions What advice would you give to others on being an ally? What does being an ally mean? Do you have an example of someone being a good ally to you? What ally practices do you hold to? Have there been times when it was difficult to be an ally, or you were not sure how to be an ally? Where could you find support or advice? Being Ace and an Ally Does being ace affect how you are an ally? What would you ask from allies outside the ace community? How can the ace c...

I was stressing out about writing a careful and nuanced post about words having boundaries, and the ethics of label policing, and power dynamics and harm, and determining valid harm from manufactured harm - when I decided to chill instead. So, let's chill. [Image: a cloud and blue sky] Breathe in. Breathe out. Feel where your body touches the surfaces that support it. If you're comfortable doing so, close your eyes.  You might not be able read with your eyes closed. If so, don't close your eyes.   Hear the sound of the rain. Hear it splatter and ping on different surfaces. Hear it trickle over the curb and merge into a tiny stream. Smell the wet asphalt. Shiver as the rain pulls the temperature down a few degrees. Hear the thunder rumble overhead. Count and hold your breath. One one thousand, two one thousand, three. See the lightning flash in the distance.  Look up and see thin metal ribbing branching out under a purple nylon canopy.  [Image: ...

Content Warning: mentions of aphobia, trauma, elitism, illness. "What thoughts do you have that you want others in the ace community to know about?" I fear I'm going to do ace rep wrong, that I'll never be free of internalized aphobia, that I'm rewriting my self-expression to be normal and popular and selling the lie to myself. Why is m/m ace romance my favorite combo when I'm AFAB agender aro ace? Did society get in my head and make me like that - make me think that's ideal and fun and what I want to express without realizing that's not me?  I fear that the me I express would hurt the community because I am a sickly, traumatized, emotion avoider and want to pour those aspects of who I am into my story along with my asexuality. I want to strip away the "pathetic" parts of who I am and leave only asexuality, fill in the gaps with the tempered shmexiness of slow burn m/m ace romance.  I fear that I'll trigger the elitists, that I'll f...