Ethical Perfectionism
Cross-posted on Asexual Agenda . Lately I have been struggling with “ethical perfectionism” with my aspec content. It’s like regular perfectionism where it’s hard to start and then it’s hard to finish, but with the fun twist of using ethics to justify the behavior. Afterall, it’s not untrue that a degree of double-checking before you share is important in aspec spaces where nuance keeps the peace. And peace is good. I like peace. It’s not that I worry people will disagree with what I create, it’s that if I accidentally erase or invalidate someone I am very aware of how much that hurts. Then there’s an unpleasant jumble of “I caused pain” and “someone dislikes me” and “they are right to dislike me” and “I failed to not cause pain”. But I can’t predict what I don’t know, and if I don’t know I’m erasing or invalidating you, then I can’t prevent myself from doing it. And rereading and revising a piece doesn’t magically make me aware of that which I don’t yet know. It’s not that I wo...