Respecting Character Wishes?

When I first read Brandon Sanderson's announcement about an asexual character, I noted three things:

  1. especially in the larger context of queerbaiting, I thought it was very respectful to his fans to acknowledge possible disappointment and explain the decision
  2. he has sensitivity readers and mentioned the decision was based on how the character feels (which means this wasn't a quick grab for diversity points)
  3. the character seems* to deprioritize their asexuality, which is an ace experience that I am happy is getting representation

I was happily spreading the word, when someone countered that this was disrespecting the character's wishes and used a quote from the very article I'd just read and shared.

“______ would prefer you focus on other aspects of [their] identity, rather than [their] sexuality.”

I've gone down a rabbit hole thinking about this, and haven't entirely made up my mind. So here's a set of questions to get your head spinning too. 

Starter Questions

  • Should character wishes be respected?
  • Are character wishes a proxy for their creators' wishes?
  • Should creator wishes about how their work is treated be respected?
  • What do we lose as a community if reader wishes always override creator wishes?
  • What do we lose as a community if creator wishes always override reader wishes?
  • When might it be worth respecting creator wishes?
  • When might it be worth respecting reader wishes?

Scenarios

  • Is it disrespectful to be privately happy about the sexuality of a character who would rather you not focus on that?
  • Is it disrespectful to blog about or publicly list the sexuality of a character who would rather you not focus on that?
  • Is it disrespectful to discuss in closed groups the sexuality of a character who would rather you not focus on that?
  • Would your answers change if instead of a character, the target is a celebrity who hasn't specified their sexuality? 
    • What if they have stated their sexuality and you think it's something else? 
    • What if the celebrity asked for privacy? 
    • What if they are a small-time celebrity? 
    • What if they are a minor? 
    • What if they aren't a celebrity?
  • Would your answers change if instead of sexuality, the topic was: 
    • gender
    • ethnicity 
    • country of origin
    • romantic orientation
    • sex history
    • criminal history
    • addiction
    • relationship status
    • mental health
    • neurodivergence
    • illness
    • disability
    • a history of trauma
    • any marginalized identity or experience
    • any non-marginalized identity or experience
  • If your answers were different for certain topics, why do you assign more/less privacy?

Bonus Round

Try replacing "wishes" in all these questions with "boundaries," "concerns," or "needs." Do your answers change?

Why I went down the rabbit hole

I have a lead character with a private aspect of their identity. Before this conundrum of respecting character wishes, I was only considering potential "hows" ---
  • Plan A: a secondary character slips up and almost reveals this private aspect of their identity in a way that will hopefully be obvious to the reader but goes over the main character's head.
  • additional clues in what the character is knowledgeable about and other coding tricks
  • a note at the end of the book
  • a blog post confirming 
  • a short story from this characters POV confirming
  • revealing the private aspect of their identity later in the series 
--- I was not considering ethics. 

Ultimately, this character wants to avoid a shift in how he's percieved and treated (whether postive or negative, whether real or imagined) by those he interacts with. I feel he would not be bothered by readers from another reality knowing, discussing, and emoting about a private aspect of his identity.

Hurray! I don't need to escape the ethical rabbit hole after all!



*by context of the announcement. I have not read this series. 

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