Self Care when Writing from Negative Experience
Check in with your emotions before, during, and after these exercises. You are responsible for your emotional health. Be kind to yourself.
Image is Page 1 of CharCharChar's "Self Care when Writing from Negative Experience" PDF version of this blog post.
Self Care
- Schedule time for self-care after writing the hardest scenes. A video call with a friend.
- A light hearted movie you’ve been looking forward to. An art project. Play a writing game.
- Hydrate.
- Avoid writing about painful topics in the last several hours before you sleep.
- Don’t write painful topics in the room you sleep in, and definitely not in bed. Your mind associates activities with places. Protect your sleeping space from negative memories that could make it difficult to rest.
- Set a time limit on your writing. Resist writing "just one more line."
- When you take breaks, save and close the file or put away the notebook. Leave the writing area.
- Give yourself permission to say no, to not be ready to write that scene, to change your plan, to go for a lower word count, to give yourself more time, to pause the project for future-you to maybe pick up again.
Respect your triggers.
You cannot choose to not have negative emotions.
You cannot will yourself to not be triggered.
You can monitor your mood and practice self-care.
You can give yourself the space and speed to approach your project in a healthy way.
Source: I was inspired by the quote “respect your triggers” from the
trigger warning for "An Ace Survivor’s Manifesto" by Queenie of Aces.
Let's Get Started
- Try an "Artist's Date" where you schedule time for creative play outside your normal medium (coloring, poetry, gardening, knitting, scuplting) - Source: The Artist's Way.
- Try "Morning Pages" where you freewrite 750 words first thing in the morning. - Source: The Artist's Way.
- Keep a gratitude or postivity journal
- Try mixed-media expression like art journaling
- "15 Journaling Exercises to Help You Heal, Grow, and Thrive" on Psychology Today
Avoid details of the negative event, avoid how the past felt.
Focus on your current emotions. Write scenes where another character is supportive, where your main character can express themselves and feel validated, where your character has an epiphany about how the view the negative experience or their inner strength.
Source: based on general support group advice to not share details.
Rewrite history to have a more positive outcome.
Create a coincidence that alters events. Be cautious if you choose to have your past-self make a different choice, as this can feel like self-blame.
Source: I made this up and had mixed feelings when trying it. Approach with caution. Consider running the idea by a therapist first.
Meditative Writing
Meditate, then write.
What is Meditative Writing?
Decide what you intend to write. Meditate for five minutes. If meditation isn't for you, try a guided meditation. You could doodle, go for a walk, or fold laundry while being mindful of the task.
Acknowledge the emotions you feel leading up to writing on a difficult topic. Then attempt meditative writing where you stay in that calm relaxed free thinking state.
CharCharChar's Experience
Negative emotions around knowing that your writing will be challenging or trigger more negative emotions can cause writer’s block or an unpleasant experience if you force yourself to push through. I found meditative writing useful to getting into a headspace where I felt more calm and in control writing about a negative experience. I found myself less drained afterward and more willing to repeat the experience.
See also:
"Focused Writing: 3-Part Breath Meditation for Writers" by Jen Johnson.
Source of Meditative Writing Idea:
I first learned this idea from a temporarily free course by Nadia Colburn.
I also saw it on Skill Share by Cameron Conaway, but he called it "take ten".
Further searches led me to Jess Hinds' (paid) classes.
Emotions
Don't ignore them.
Emotional Awareness
Pick an emotion word. Write about a time you had that emotion. Write how you feel about that emotion. Write how you feel when having that emotion. Be abstract.
Emotional Endurance
Method 1: As you feel comfortable doing so, write in vague terms what happened.
Next time, try writing out in simple objective terms the negative event. Then try writing that several times. Keep an eye on your emotions as you expose yourself to writing about it.
Method 2: Play word association with key words around the negative event. Start with keywords that are distantly related, move closer as you are comfortable.
CharCharChar's Experience
I struggled to think about the negative experience directly. I found myself using roundabout phrases to describe what happened instead of the direct term. Every few days or few weeks, when I found myself journaling on the negative experience, I tested how comfortable I was being more direct. I am at the point where I can write a simple statement of what happened without negatively impacting my mood.
Emotion Words
For lists of emotions search for RULER mood meter, emotion wheel, emotoscope, bullet journal mood tracker, or Sims moodlets. The Emotion Thesaurus is a great resource that describes the sensations of each emotion. For rare emotion words see "Expand Your Emotional Vocabulary With This Dictionary Of Emotions" on Medium and "23 Words For Emotions Everyone Feels But Can’t Explain" on Thought Catalog.
Or, to see the words from all those sources (and more) in one place, see CharCharChar's Feeling Words spreadsheet.
What's Next?
- Find books at your public library by searching “narrative therapy” and “creative writing therapeutic use”
- Search for "self care lists" online.
- Create your own "care plan" like in the back of "The Dark Matter of Mona Starr" (a graphic novel memoir).
Parting Words
Don't compare the degree of your emotions to the degree of the negative experience. Whatever you are feeling is valid.
Forgive your past self for existing in a negative experience. Thank your past self for surviving.
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